


Confessions

by Sheepie



Series: Gucci & Chanel [4]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Brotp, F/M, Genderfluid!Eggsy, Hurt/Comfort, gender discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 12:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5290298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheepie/pseuds/Sheepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt fill: GENDERFLUID!EGGSY PLEASE!!! It's literally my favorite thing! Please please please do something with Eggsy in training with the other recruits and maybe he's talking to Roxy about it and stuff and it's a whole deep convo and then we've got someone being a jerk and roxy ain't taking any of that and is super supportive and does everything she can to help eggsy be comfy with himself PLEASE (I'm sorry I'm just so excited. You're so good and genderfluid eggsy is perfect)</p>
<p>
  <i>Roxy knows there's something bothering Eggsy, and she's determined to get to the bottom of it. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Self-betaed.
> 
> This is set before **Little Black Heels**.

Something was up with Eggsy. Roxy didn’t know what, but she could tell. She liked to think that she knew Eggsy better than anyone. Sure, Harry and Merlin may be sleeping with him, and they all three shared a profound bond, but neither Harry nor Merlin shared the experiences she and Eggsy did.

Roxy was Eggsy’s best friend. She knew Eggsy as well as she knew herself. And she knew at that moment that something was eating at Eggsy.

She first realized something was off at their morning meeting yesterday. Eggsy, despite seeming like a lackadaisical loafer, was actually one of the most attentive and studious agents at the table, and that morning he listened listlessly as Harry spoke. Harry had to call Eggsy’s name three times before he got a response.

Today was only worse. She tried to get him to go down to the shooting range with her, but Eggsy just murmured a flimsy excuse and wandered off, shoulders sunk in defeat.

This wasn’t Eggsy. He was usually so vibrant and confident. When Eggsy was in a room, it was hard not to stare at him. He was a ray of golden sunlight that filled a room.

_This is ridiculous. I’m getting to the bottom if it, now._

After her meeting with Merlin, Roxy set off to find Eggsy. She located him in the gym, going hard at one of the punching bags. She stood back, watching as he worked the bag, the muscles in his arms tightening with each throw of his fist. Sweat glistened against his skin, giving him a warm glow. It really was ridiculous how beautiful Eggsy was.

“I think you won,” Roxy called when, after ten minutes of hard punching, Eggsy still didn’t let up.

Eggsy grabbed the swinging bag to stop it. “Wot’s up? Merlin need me?” Eggsy wiped the sweat from his forehead with his arm. A flush had spread over his cheeks and along his chest.

“No, I did.” Roxy crossed her arms over her chest, head cocked to the side. She saw no point in beating around the bush. “What’s bothering you? You’ve been off for the last two days.”

Eggsy’s shoulders immediately stiffened. He tried to hide it by hunching forward, condensing himself as small as possible, but Roxy saw it. She clenched her jaw. “Spill it, Unwin. Did you get in a fight with Harry? Do I need to go slash his tires or swap his sugar out with salt?”

She warned both Harry and Merlin that if they hurt Eggsy, she didn’t care if they were her superiors, she would come after them, and she would make it all look like an accident.

“No,” Eggsy said quickly, pulling a face. “No, ‘Arry hasn’t done anything.”

“Is Merlin sending you on a mission?”

Eggsy had never been known to complain about a job, but maybe Merlin had finally found a place Eggsy wasn’t excited to go to.

He shook his head. Roxy bit back a sigh. “Then what? Was it Percival? Gawain? Kay? Your mother?”

“No, no, no, and no. I’m fine, really.” He inched backwards, not meeting her gaze. “I’m going to shower, okay?”

“I swear to god Eggsy, if you don’t start spilling right now, I’m going to kick your ass three ways to Sunday.” She cracked her knuckles for added affect. “Something has been eating at you, and I’m not leaving until you tell me. And don’t think I won’t follow you into the shower. I’ve seen your dick enough times in training, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Hell Rox, it’s nothing!” Eggsy huffed, stare souring into a frustrated glare. “I’m just off, is all. Ain’t nothing to get worried about, now innit? Thanks and all, but really. I’m fine.”

“That’s a bigger load of bullshit than Charlie was.”

Eggsy clenched and unclenched his jaw, emotions warring across his face. He swiped his hand through his hair, causing the blond strands to stick up at odd angles. “I just…” He shook his head, swallowing thickly. “Shit… look, I just don’t feel like myself. Y’ wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” She said, softening her tone so it wasn’t so abrasive. When Eggsy didn’t continue, Roxy added, “Eggsy, we’re best mates. There isn’t anything you could tell me that would change that.”

“Really?” The single word came out so small and broken that Roxy’s heart cracked, and she swore she would kill whoever made Eggsy think he wasn’t worth love. She crossed the room and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, hugging him close. Eggsy stiffened. “Roxy, yer suit. It’ll get sweat on it.”

“Don’t care,” She mumbled into his neck. “You need a hug.”

Eggsy melted into the embrace, his arms coming to wrap around her waist. For a moment she forgot about what they were discussing, losing herself in the warmth of Eggsy’s arms. She always felt safe when he held her, like nothing could ever touch her.

Roxy forced herself to pull back, looking Eggsy directly in the eyes. “What do you mean you don’t feel like yourself?”

Eggsy looked down, and Roxy thought she might have to pry more, but then he nodded. “Okay…” He untangled himself from her arms, taking her hand and leading her over to one of the benches. Roxy took a seat, waiting. Eggsy laid his hands flat on his knees, palms facing up, and stared down at his fingers. “The thing is…” He drew in a shuddering breath. “I… _fuck_ …”

Roxy slipped her hand into one of Eggsy’s and squeezed. “Take your time.”

“SometimesI’mnotaboy,” Eggsy blurted out on a single breath.

Roxy blinked, carefully picking over the tangle of words. She raised her eyebrows as she digested what he said. “You don’t feel like a boy?” Eggsy nodded, not meeting her eyes again. “Okay, then what do you feel like?”

“…a girl.” Eggsy looked at her, blue eyes earnest. “There are some mornings I wake up and I’m a boy, and then some mornings I wake up and I’m a girl. But I can’t be a girl, even when I feel like I am. Wot would happen if I was? I’d lose everything.”

“Oh Eggsy, no you wouldn’t.” Roxy let go of his hand, pressing her palm against his cheek and gently turning his head so he was compelled to look at her. “Do you honestly think anyone cares about your gender? What we care about is you, Eggsy, not some arbitrary concept conceived by society.”

“It’s easy to say it, but that’s not true. All my life I’ve had to hide who I was. If Dean ever found out…” Eggsy shuddered. “I wouldn’t be here. I… I want to think it’ll be okay. I even started considering that maybe I’m finally in a safe environment to be myself, to be who I really am… but wot if… fuck Rox, wot if I lose Merlin and Harry? Lose Kingsman?”

“You won’t,” Roxy promised. “Your gender doesn’t make you a good agent, and Harry and Merlin love you for _you_. Eggsy, you have to start being true to yourself. Otherwise you’ll end up killing yourself. I can’t force you to open up to everyone. That’s something you’ll have to do on your own time, but you should know that you _are_ in a safe environment where you can start being you. And if there are people that don’t accept it, then I’ll just fucking cut them.”

Eggsy let out a brittle bark of laughter.

“I’m serious. You just point me in their direction and I’ll end them. By the time I’m through, even their mum won’t be able to recognize the arsewipe.” Roxy squeezed Eggsy’s shoulder. “I’m here for you Eggsy, one hundred percent.”

“Thank you,” Eggsy whispered, mouth twitching up into a weak smile.

“Are you feeling like a girl today?”

Eggsy nodded, smile starting to wilt. Roxy tsked. “None of that. You don’t need to be ashamed, Eggsy. What pronouns would you like me to use?”

She watched the realization dawn on him—she was serious. She didn’t care what Eggsy referred to himself as. Nothing would change the fact that he was her best friend, her brother.

Eggsy hauled her into a tight, bone-crushing hug and whispered. “I love y’.”

Roxy nuzzled the side of his head, whispering back, “I love you too.”

After a moment, Eggsy let go and said, “I don’t think I’m ready for everyone to know… so could… could you still use male pronouns around them, but when I’m feeling female, use female pronouns when no one else is around?”

“Of course, whatever makes you comfortable.” Roxy stood and nodded in the direction of the showers. “Go wash up, and then we’ll go shopping. I’ve seen your trackies, Unwin, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting you out on your own with a credit card.”

Eggsy grinned, her dimples showing. Roxy knew it would take awhile for her to tell everyone. This was a big step. Roxy would provide all the support Eggsy needed. And she wasn’t kidding when she said she’d wreck whoever made her cry.


End file.
